children of the corn

Children of the Corn

Corn is something different these days, same for lima beans, grapes and Cheerios. It’s hard for genetically-altered children to be cheery when they suffer from memory loss, irritable bowel syndrome and cold sweats. They’re a drain on the economy, these children, and to compensate we turn them into drug addicts and then slam them away making license plates in for-profit prisons.

But it takes a lot of no-profit years to turn children into drug addicts, and if things reach crisis level, which some say they already have, another route needs to be taken to keep the economy strong, like re-establishing the draft and dropping the draft age to twelve, then cooking up a few new wars and shipping these youngsters into battle without flak vests, because flak vests are expensive.

But even without flak vests some of these kids are going to make it back home and claim they’re suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, an angle people use to get free medical care. I suppose we could counter that ploy by shutting down the V.A., a dangerous place anyway where every day a crip from some war that’s long over and done with wanders into a clinic with a gun or a grenade or an aluminum crutch and threatens to take out tax-payer financed workers. It would end that sort of thing, if we shitcanned the V.A., and it would also take a bite out of the national deficit.

Be all that as it may, there’s always a ray of hope shining thru somewhere, like Dupont, Halliburton and Monsanto. These guys have been around for a long time cooking up schemes to keep our country great.

I won’t name names, but some people make a big deal out of this bad genetics rap being laid on Monsanto. But what’s the big deal if an ear of corn has some rat genes in it or grasshopper genes or whatever the hell kind of genes they say are in there? It’s easy to prove that’s not true: just walk into a Safeway and pick up an ear of corn and look at it. Looks like the same old ear of corn to me.

These bleeding hearts who are trying to give Monsanto a bad name, when you get right down to it it’s because of them that we’ll have to start new wars and lower the draft age to keep the economy strong.

No one’s proved that anything’s wrong with the way the country’s run, and until they do we’ll continue to stay vigilant and stomp out America’s enemies.

 

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