People who crack their knuckles have nothing to live for. Don’t take my word for it, ask one of them. But now that I stop to think about it, when’s the last time you saw someone crack his knuckles? And have you ever seen a woman crack her knuckles? Probably not, because women crack their knuckles lying in bed next to their snoring husbands after another night of bad sex.
Cracking her knuckles may be a way for a woman to stay in touch with her body. For years, night after night, she cracks her knuckles until they are disfigured and swollen, and in the morning she prepares breakfast for three children and a husband who sits hunched over his coffee. No one notices her knuckles. She’s the bacon and eggs machine, the filler of lunch pails, and after they leave she fills the bathtub with warm water and slides in, submerging herself. She places her hands over her stomach and cracks her knuckles, making the surface of the water vibrate until she reaches orgasm. But what about women who don’t have a bathtub, where do they do it? Standing naked on a bath mat over a sink of warm water? Or do they do it at the community pool, sitting in a jacuzzi packed with loud savage men?
When men crack their knuckles they do it in public. If they do it in the presence of another man, he too will crack his knuckles, and fights have broken out in bars over who cracks his knuckles the loudest, sometimes destroying friendships.
When a man cracks his knuckles in front of a woman, she looks away.
Knuckle crackers keep at it until they can no longer bend their fingers. That’s when some of them take their own lives, but others struggle on. Men go to singles bars and scan the room for women with disfigured fingers. Occasionally they find one, but when they make advances, displaying their mangled fingers, they are always bitterly rejected. Women sometimes buy vibrating devices, but it’s no use–all avenues to orgasm have been closed to them except knuckle cracking, and they can no longer do it.
A small percentage of knuckle crackers, both men and women, find their way into Knuckle Crackers Anonymous where they work on accepting their wrecked and mangled lives.