I paid a
teenage hacker
to apply
a program
he’d developed
to my
Shard list
& it
turns out
that one
third of
all the
names on
the list
are in
some way
connected to
the National
Security Agency
Homeland Security
the FBI or
Goldman Sachs.
Filed under poems & short jabs
Your best
bet is to
lay low
or find a
doppelganger or
better yet
kidnap a
child genius
genetic engineer
& manufacture
an army
of doppelgangers
in a
secret laboratory
deep in a
high-mountain
cave then
turn them
loose.
That way
you can
move about
undetected
in a
world full
of phonies.
Filed under poems & short jabs
Poplar
Maple &
Alder.
The names
of trees on
street signs
standing where
the trees
once stood,
sort of
like gravestones.
Filed under poems & short jabs
If I
could transform
my writing
into painting
I’d be
Goya.
If I
could transform
it into
music
I’d be
a cross
between
John Cage
&
Thelonius Monk.
Filed under poems & short jabs
One day
I’ve got
20-20 vision
the next
I’ve got
bifocals &
then my
wife divorced
me for
no reason
other than
I was
a drunk
& did
all the
unsavory things
drunks do
& then
my knees
went out
& I got
trifocals.
Not being
one to
roll over
& die
I stopped
being a
drunk &
had a
string of
women twenty
& thirty
years younger
than me
& then
my back
went out
& my
arteries started
exploding &
now there’s
not a
woman in
sight &
I got
lured into a
two-week
free trial
on a
top-dollar
both-ears
hearing-aid
system with
a free
lunch at
Perkin’s
thrown in.
My sense
of smell
has been
shot for
a long
time but
I can
still touch
my toes
& the
last time
I checked
I could
still dance.
I’ll be
75 in
three weeks
& people
are hinting
I should
write a
will &
not forget
all they
did for
me over
the years.
Filed under poems & short jabs
Why eat
out when
there’s a
moldy English
muffin &
a withered
carrot in
the fridge?
Filed under poems & short jabs
