Problematic Time Frames
There are precious few angles left to come at things. Seventy-nine years of sliding between the cracks is no easy game, and what I’m left with is assessing problematic time frames.
The best place to start is at the outermost reaches. I don’t want to live to be 100, because if I do, I’ll have nothing left that anyone wants, and I’ll be at everybody’s mercy.
Ninety might work if I can hang on to my wits that long, but the odds are against it.
Eighty is probably my best bet, but that’s only a year down the road.
Okay, let’s shoot for 88, Henry Miller lasted that long, and he pretty much did it his way until the end.
Now, how to play out those nine years.
First, it’s important to remember that I’m not trying to live another nine years, but that nine more years is the longest I want to live.
Next, I need to sever emotional and physical dependence.
After that there’s nothing left to do but shred the last strand of hope.