Category Archives: shards

only business

ONLY BUSINESS

If there were just enough time to make a rhyme, to do the crime to do the time, to disassociate from oddballs and slime, decked out in turn-around collars.

The collars don’t matter much anymore, half the world would just as soon shoot a priest as look at him twice, spit on a nun’s bad habit, all those cascading folds of suffocating black covering purple rivers of smack-track veins. If infants and whole populations are fair game for wipeout, why not nuns and priest?

Its business. The business of America. The Mafia and the Feds bumping heads, rubbing shoulders, shaking hands, whacking people…the meat market, the stock market, the drug and prostitution trade, in the name of the father, the son and the rat-a-tat-tat, a St. Valentine’s massacre at Jack in the Box, a McDonald’s franchise in Hoboken, rat-a-tat-tat and a horse head in bed, rat-a-tat-tat and a piano-wire necklace for your pretty two-timing wife, rat-a-tat-tat and they put you on the day shift, rat-a-tat and the only way to get even a sliver of the pie is to want the whole thing.

The Japanese Mafia, the Russian Mafia, the Chinese, Cambodian and Laotian Mafia, I’ve seen the best minds of my Mafia slink thru the shadows, looking for a place to relocate, blue-eyed and pale, doing the old yass-suh. Power is color blind. God’s in his heaven and all’s right with the world. There are more answers than questions, more quiz shows than contestants, more rockets than rolls in a starving child’s belly–payola, paydirt, pay day, a day in the country for the earls and the dukes, a romp in the hay with a wench from the village, the line forms at her rear. Recreation and leisure, X marks the spot, spotty markets and downside dividends, a pot full of cars, a garage full of pot, Visa Card heaven, aborigines in an alley, puking red blood and whiskey. Be all that you can be. See the USA in your Chevrolet. Burn that fossil fuel. Burn the midnight oil cooking up gismos and gadgets and gimmicks. It’s supply and demand. We demand our supply–in the vein, in the checkbook, on MTV in the Moose Lodge. It’s all done on paper, with an abacus, a computer, as a readout–repeat after me: WE WANT THE WORLD AND WE WANT IT NOW.

Hey now, you with the stars in your eyes, don’t let the world make a fool of you. Truth is lie but black’s not white, never the twain shall meat on your plate, grubs on the black man’s, not that cool boy who moved in down the block, I mean that little boy in the African dust, that’s who I mean, the old song and dance routine on an empty stomach. Snow White and the seven dwarfs, what color do you think they are, Mr. Hip, Mr. Slick, Mr. Cool, porking Snow White in their deep-forest cottage? A cottage industry, love for sale, and what’s love got to do with it? The crone in her castle with her twisted magician, cooking up potions and limericks, driving beauty down on her knees in the cock-sucking position…an apple a day and in rides the prince on his prancing white charger and sticks his tongue down her throat. This part’s pure fiction, it’s all dwarfs in the forest and crones in the castle, porking the princess or wanting to be one–rage-shattered mirrors, watchtower of demons, petroglyphs carved in the sky.

A time for everything, a time to sew buttons for eyes on the blind farmer’s sow, a time to rape and scavenge the drug that will cinch things, your teddy bear lodged in what’s left of remembrance, that sliver of sunshine from an innocent childhood, before you saw what they truly expected. Business is business. You get down to it and they scream in your ear. Tattooed with shaved head and pierced nose/nipples/cunt you rock on. You don’t always get what you want, you never get what you need, but you do what you have to and wait for the stock market crash. You’ve pulled the plug on success. You’re a case study, a landmark decision, a lady in waiting, black wedding veil over skull bone, bride of the future… You’re the final transaction, spare-changing the midnight hour. It’s business.

Mister, can you spare a dime? Hold up the infant Jesus and they laugh you into the ground. You can bank on it buddy, buster, old buckaroo, sweet child of mishap, trapped in the dungeon of birthright. Tune in, turn on, drop dead in your tracks, the ones like jeep ruts on your arms, in your groin, ah–the groin! Hot spot that spurns all allegiance, the dime bag of pounding extinction, the forget-me-not game, the ripped petals of a rose, the Manson Express–all aboard. Last exit to Brooklyn. Trala in a junked car in a lot down on Flatbush, cock after cock after cock, generations of hot sperm poured into her junkie-girl cunt, the cosmic swirl of a hot savage summer night, laughter, popped lids on beer cans, the pungent aroma of gage, seizures of ecstasy as flat on her back with her legs in the air, she rolls her eyes skyward and sees upside down thru the shattered rear window, the moon.

Hush now baby, don’t you cry. Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring don’t shine, there’s always the moon to fall back on, pale reflection of your burnt-out sun. Lady bug, lady bug, fly away. Your house is on fire. Oh yes. Oh my. Oh my oh my. Down to it. As usual. Business.

This Shard is included in my spoken-word CD Rugburn. See attachment below.

Rug Burn – Shard readings by John Bennett

Vagabond Productions

Cover Art: Scott Mayberry. Layout & Design: Jeff Cleveland & Scott Mayberry. All shards written and read by John Bennett. All beats by Seed Verb except: The Audience, Seed & Mike Elkins; Choosing, Seed & Nervous; CIM, Nervous; Leeboy, Lee McCullough & Nervous; Snake Skin, Nervous. Seed Verb and Nervous appear courtesy of Puppetfangghost.

Some of the shards on this CD have appeared in written form in the following books and magazines: Books:Domestic Violence; New World Order. Magazines: First Class; Pudding; Pulpsmith; Lost & Found Times. Copyright 1999 by John Bennett. A Vagabond Production, 605 E. 5th Ave., Ellensburg, WA 98926. Produced at the Bombshelter, Ellensburg, Washington, by Seed Verb, Nervous and John Bennett.

Tracklist:

1. Only Business 2. Choosing 3. The Audience 4. A Bird’s Eye View Of The Problem 5. Feel Up (Instrumental)6. Blowing The Lid Off 7. Costello: The God Of Creation 8. Cim (Instrumental) 9. Ghetto Poem 10. Let Them Eat Biscuits 11. Much Ado About Nothing 12. Russ (Instrumental) 13. A Pep Talk To The Class Of 97 14. Snakeskin 15. Junkyard Dog 16. Leeboy (Instrumental) 17. Ascent Of Man 18. Molecular Conspiracy

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note in a bottle

NOTE IN A BOTTLE

Boxed in with a lexicon and a slide rule and no more tricks up his sleeve, he began to hum softly. That’s when they thought they had him.

“If you let go,” one of them said (a woman with soft hands and dancing eyes), “everything will be better.”

The rest of them nodded and smiled.

He couldn’t count their number, they faded in and out like apparitions, and all of them had their hands on him, some firmly,some tentatively.

The glaring absurdity of the dancing-eyed woman’s suggestion (why didn’t they let go?)twisted the tight knot inside him so that dark blood began seeping out his right ear. He tried to smile pseudo compliance, but then he saw they were riveted to the blood, and he gave up trying.

Men like Swift and Poe and Corso had fought this battle before him and lost, and he saw now there was no winning. The one small reward for even trying was passing on the fire, like a note in a plugged bottle, bobbing down the current of their claustrophobic dominance. He wondered if he’d done this somewhere along the line, and if so, who would unplug the bottle and stare baffled at the blank sheet of paper that said everything

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super bowl sunday in a fast-changing world

Super Bowl Sunday in a Fast-changing World

The buzz of the ceiling fan. The harsh voices that carry from table to table. The static of speaker music. The over-taxed mind.

The microwave after-thought. The elimination of residue. The going fast as you can. The rash turn of opinion. The gathering storm. The over-taxed mind.

Did I already say that? Is the end drawing nigh? Do I have to pretend that things are in order to keep from getting a drubbing? Must I give up the quest, the evasion, the way I hop on one foot? Will there be a parade, an announcement, a way out? Or will the door slam shut?

This is when things begin to go backwards. Don’t look away. Don’t flinch or add anything extra. Don’t give a glance to the tickless clock. Time’s up.

You’re in a restaurant eating breakfast. Tip the waitress, tip your hat, side step out the door like a matador. It’s too late to make a world-changing gesture. It’s the 18th Super Bowl of the 21st century.

You’re hurtling thru the Big Bang.

You’ve shattered gravity’s rainbow.

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no tomorrow

No Tomorrow

D.F. Wallace had it in his head that we’re all trapped in our heads in a tangle of exponential confusion. And that each jungle of confusion (and angst) is isolated from all others, or–as Heinrich Heine put it a long time ago: “Kein Mensch kennt den andern, jeder steht allein…

I may be reading too much into Wallace, but I think anything anyone sincerely attributes to him is there somewhere, if not in the body of his work, then in his voluminous footnotes. But if that’s the case, then all we’d have to do is read Wallace from A to Z and the walls between us would crumble; we’d be one big happy family, joined at the hip in confusion.

Still, there’s a piece missing. There’s always a piece missing, be it in Goethe or Freud or James Joyce. Albert Einstein, Jesus Christ, Allah or the Buddha.

The Buddha probably came as close as anyone to coming to terms with his confusion. What he said can be boiled down to: of course there’s a piece missing, but just knowing that is knowing what that piece is, in a knowing but not knowing sort of way, and what’s required once you’ve got that far is intense concentration on emptiness.

I think the Buddha was on to something that I recognized the day a long time ago that I came across this Zen poem: “In the spring rain, a small child’s ball is getting wet on the roof.

That’s when I threw in the towel on God and began drinking like there was no tomorrow.

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dirt poor

Dirt Poor

It was 75 years ago. I was in the first grade. I was cutting through the woods on my way to school, and I found a cardboard box full of puppies. I spent the day with the puppies. I took them out of the box and lay on my back on the grass and let them crawl all over me. They licked my face and I fed them my sack-lunch sandwich.

When the sun began to set I put the puppies back in the box and carried them home. We were living on the sand lots of Long Island with my German/Irish grandparents, first-generation Americans, starvation poor.

My grandfather drowned the puppies in a tub of water.

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more & more still

MORE & MORE STILL

Just when I think I can’t go on, something tickles my funny bone. Or an armada of helium balloons dangling hooks on hemp rope lifts my brain right out of its cranium. These are the times I start whistling Dixie.

“You’re not just whistling Dixie!” my critics say, but I keep right on whistling.

More will be revealed. More and more still. Equilibrium is being always off balance but never falling. These are the sort of lopsided insights that spin out of the More & More Still cycle/conundrum/philosophy/equation, take your pick.
High-pitched gyrations, sly-fox machinations.

It’s a Peter-Pan world, little fairies with nice legs spinning around me at head level, dervishes of dream, too tiny to have sex with.

This is what you’re left with once you dare cut the rope to be free.

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