Category Archives: shards

the touch of death

a bitter irony — the word “Liberty” stamped on the front of the nickel.

THE TOUCH OF DEATH

Isn’t it ironic that a people who slaughtered a beast to the brink of extinction stamps that beast on the back of a coin of the realm and then stamps on the front of the coin the image of a people who revered that beast and relied on it for food, clothing and shelter? Of course the people represented by the image on the front of the coin were also slaughtered, so there is a grim logic at play.

I’m talking about the Indian-head nickel, which is no longer minted, and the beast on the back is the buffalo.

For five cents you can learn all there is to know about patriotism.

Leave a Comment

Filed under shards

the tiny door to freedom

The Tiny Door to Freedom

The truth shall set you free, like a jailer with a key ring, a patch over one eye, and a club foot. Here he comes now, scraping along the wall.

Who gets set free seems random. One day it’s the sexy Scandinavian princess who traded oral sex for cigarettes, the next it’s the ventriloquist with the wooden dummy. The day after that he just drags his foot along jangling his keys in everyone’s face and talking dirty and no one gets set free.

I’ve watched a lot of people come and go, some with names you’d recognize, most as anonymous as a blizzard, but by the time he lets them out, there’s no telling them apart. They all fall down weeping at his feet, which sets him to purring and patting their heads. Then he drags them down the long corridor by the hair and shoves them through a tiny door.

At first most of us are appalled that truth is a jailer with a club foot, and we conjure words like grace and beauty to try to shame him. But he seems to feed on these things, like an ogre in a nursery.

In the long run, everything loses meaning except that tiny door.

Leave a Comment

Filed under shards

the struggle of the corporate person

The Struggles of the Corporate Person

Hard to come up with an answer to the problem, the question, the dilemma, the postmortem, postpartum salute-this-flag blues.

Another day without work, $360 to the mechanic, $640 to the tax man, an even thousand in the red, not bad for a day with no work. Am I too big to fail, can I write off my loses and ask for ten thousand in bail out?

The local phone company stiffed me for two months window cleaning, even stopped payment on a check they’d already written, something about bankruptcy. But they’re still going strong, it’s the branches back east that are having a hard time of it. Turns out my local phone company isn’t a local phone company after all, and if I continue to bill them for services rendered, I’ve been given to understand, I’m subject to legal action and my phone will be disconnected.

Just another corporate person with the law stacked in its favor, eking out a living by feeding on the sweat and blood of ordinary people.

Leave a Comment

Filed under shards

seniors

Seniors

They get the breakfast special. Pancakes with link sausage for $4.50. They hold off on the coffee until they get home where they make their own–this adds up to a considerable saving if they eat breakfast out a lot, which they do, just to get out of the house.

The rest of the day is a grab bag of medications and television shows where audiences squeal when overweight contestants win expensive automobiles and trips to exotic places where suicide bombers cruise the streets in Volkswagen vans.

Sometimes they have pets–cats and small dogs. A few, almost always women, have birds in cages. Then there’s bingo on Wednesday afternoons at the Senior Center, and once a month on Sunday(less frequently as time goes by) a short visit from the successful son and his flourishing family.

There are memories, too, and in the long run it’s the memories that take them out.

Leave a Comment

Filed under shards

the un-sung song

The Un-Sung Song

Something new just occurred to me. I’m having trouble putting it into words. It has to do with playing music. Why I never take the lead. I’m a free agent, floating through the blood stream of other people’s music, punctuating it with riffs of harmony and counterpoint.

“B-flat major 7th,” the lead guitar calls over his shoulder, knowing I have no idea what he’s talking about, even while giving it to him.

Leave a Comment

Filed under shards

the rosey crucifixion

THE ROSEY CRUCIFIXION

Retrograde confusion, the eavesdropping stethoscope.
Moments on the soft belly of the upturned whale.
Slivers of childhood, the translucent blue eye.

Last month I went to hear Solom Rushdie speak. He was flawlessly entertaining and said a few good things about story telling being essential to the human psyche and the death of insular communities in the modern world, how that affects the novel.

Last night I went to hear Cornel West talk, and he shucked and jived and cajoled and let it be known that he’d read his Socrates. But mostly he talked about what it is to be human, and what a piss-poor job most of us make of it. He employed the old adage that the unexamined life’s not worth living, and he went further to say that no life’s worth living without looking death (social, spiritual and physical death) right in the eye. He slammed the culture of sentimentality, which is mainstream American culture, and all-in-all he was more down to the bone than Rushdie, tipping his hat to jazz greats like Coltrane and Miles Davis and literary giants like Eugene O’Neill. But still, when it was over, I came away with that uneasy feeling that tells me that somehow I’d just been had.

I’ll bet a week’s wages that West never heard of the poet Bob Kaufman, and if he has, why didn’t he mention him? The same for d.a. levy, T.L. Kryss, Maia Penfold, all of them rock-bottom human and attuned without a single trick up their sleeves. My point being that once you reach a place where they give you the nod and you begin publishing best-selling books and pulling down ten grand to give talks at small-town universities, you’ve already sold the core of your humanity.

I know, that sounds harsh, but hey—deferring to puppets never gets you anywhere worth going to.

1 Comment

Filed under shards